Cre8tivewmn’s blog

My favorite blog is Passive-Agressive Notes,  I read it every day and I comment sometimes. 

My favorite podcast is The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe.  I listen to many others, but I always look forward to my weekly episode of SGU.

My favorite TV show is Heroes.

My favorite soda is Diet Coke.

What is a childhood memory that still haunts you?

Ouch.  I have so many that I'm just not ready to relate.  Here's one that I can describe. 

I'm about 6 years old and I'm laughing and giggling as I sit on my father's knee (we were playing something).  He asks me if I remembered to bring home a jar with an insect that I had taken to school for show and tell.  I say "No, I forgot," still laughing from the game.  The next thing I know is I'm lying on the floor because my father got angry about that and threw me off his lap.  I lay there so confused and so betrayed as my father yelled at me for such a stupid reason.

The insect was a praying mantis.

I was the oldest and I have so many awful memories.  My brother and sister wonder why I'm not close to my parents and seem to not remember stuff that happened to them. 

I hate it when I make a medication mistake!  I take a long-acting pain reliever and if I mess it up, it really messes up my day.  I accidentally took my morning dose last night, so I had to tell my husband (which makes it worse).

I was wide awake when I made the mistake, but later realized I took the wrong pills.  I have a pill organizer, but I just took the morning batch instead of the evening batch.  I felt I had to tell my husband because if anything happened somebody needed to know about the meds.  Of course my husband makes me feel like I'm an imbecile at times like that, but oh well, what are you going to do after all these years?

Everything will work out OK.  I didn't sleep last night due to the meds and I may have a little extra pain tonight, but I'll be fine tomorrow.  All in all, I'd prefer not to make this mistake though!

What are five things that make you unique?
Submitted by RA<3TA.

my brain   My brain got me out of my small town and got me where I wanted to be most of the time.
my art      My art is a necessary outlet and allows me to express what words can't say
my attitude   Good or bad, it is all me
my history  Where I've been and what I've done has made me what I am, either because of it or in spite of it.
my legacy   My two wonderful sons, almost grown up.

I wake early, with a feeling
of sadness I can't explain.
Am I haunted
by the ghost of a dream
that touched my heart
as I slept?

Even though
it left me sad, I wish
I could escape
back into the dream
to find out why.

Dreams leave us naked,
with none of the masks
we use to hide the truth
from others and  ourselves.

Do I really want to see the truth?
I hope I do but secretly fear that I don't.

I'm having very mixed feelings this morning for some unknown reason.  I feel hopeful about getting busy with some new jewelry techniques, but at the same time I feel a touch of sadness.  I can't identify the reason for the sadness at all.  I'm trying not to dwell on it.  Instead, I will concentrate on the happy anticipation of doing work I enjoy.

Overall I am OK, but I have been having vision problems that are associated with my medications.  The choice is easy--I'd rather take the meds and have some blurry vision from time to time than to live in constant pain the way I did before the meds.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm in constant pain, but the meds take it down to a level where I can deal with it most of the time.  The pain doesn't go away at all, it just  has to whisper and talk  instead of shouting.

I have to go to the dentist today.  I hope when I get back I have the energy to do some work.  I think that will cheer me up.

I got to go to a bead show yesterday and I had some money to re-invest in my business, so I was able to buy some stuff and have a good time looking.  Lots of drama trying to get there, but it all worked out in the end. 

On Saturday I worked in the gallery and spent several hours beading.  It was good to accomplish so much.  I can't work like I used to, but I can work.  I wasn't ready to give up on my dream of creating and selling art jewelry.

This has been a wandery post, but at least I posted something.  It's been a while.

Six months ago, I took a form to my pain doctor to get my handicapped permit renewed.  The first time I got one my family Dr. signed it and I got it for a year.  The pain Dr. gave me six months.  Six months??? Did he expect me to be miraculously healed in that time?  Well guess what?  Six months is over and I have to get another form filled out so I can go to the DMV and get a new tag.  No miracles this time.

I am realistic about my condition.  Multiple herniated disks in my neck and lower back with bony growths narrowing the spinal canal and the areas where the nerve roots exit.  Every scan shows more damage.  This stuff doesn't get better and I understand that.  I do what I can to prevent further damage and I am grateful for the pain management that I am receiving.  Just don't pretend that we're waiting for a cure.

Without a handicapped tag, it is almost impossible for me to get out and do things, especially on a bad day.  I don't abuse it.  It took me a very long time to give in and admit I needed it.  Don't make it harder by making me re-apply so often.

My big project is finally over.  I've collected the last paycheck, and all that is left to do is attend the wrap-up meeting in a few weeks.  This project begins each year in October (if not earlier) and ends in early June.  It's really a long haul.  Everything went reasonably well, as far as I can tell.

The pay is low, but helps me through a period when my sales are usually pretty low too.  Technically it is an honorarium, because it is so much below the going rate that it doesn't merit being called "pay."  Still, it's better than nothing.

It seems surreal, in a way, I have been so involved in the show this past two weeks that it is hard for me to believe that everyone has packed up and gone home now.  I feel as if I could go down to the site and see everyone again today. 

I wish I had a week to rest, but I have to go out on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday for various appointments and demonstrations of my work.   Maybe next week....

I am halfway through a two week project and I finaly have time for a little rest and recuperation before I start getting ready for the next part.  So far it has gone pretty well.

I haven't been doing much fun lately because of all the work and  the rest I need to recuperate from that, but I did have a nice, relaxing Saturday.  I slept and caught up on some of my computer reading and on listening to podcasts.