7 posts tagged “fatigue”

I haven't been posting or even reading much lately.  Most of my waking hours are taken up with necessities.  The ear infection I spoke of in my last post was finally treated, but the medicine that kept me from being dizzy made me so sleepy I could barely function.  Just as I adjusted to that, my son caught a cold and I caught it soon after. 

With asthma a cold can be pretty serious.  When following on an allergy and/or sinus problem it is even worse.  All that gunk goes into my lungs and I can't get it out. Now I am trying to treat the cold and rest as much as possible so that I don't end up with a bad case of bronchitis or pneumonia.

The short story is that I have been taking it easy as much as possible and I just haven't had the energy to write.

One kinda cool thing happened last night.  My son, who has Aspergers is gradually learning to empathize to other people as he gets older.  He has always been attuned to my coughing and used to give me my inhaler before I was really aware I was coughing and needed to use it.  For the past few years my asthma has been much better so I rarely need my inhaler.

Last night I started coughing and he wanted to know where my inhaler was.  I explained I didn't need it.  Later he came in and seemed upset.  I explained what was going on and that I needed to cough to clear my lungs.  He said, "but you were wheezing!"  I realized then that he was getting anxious so I asked him if he would feel better if I had my inhaler and he said "yes."  He got it for me and then relaxed. 

I'm not a person who likes to be fussed over when I'm sick, but I feel encouraged whenever my son with Aspergers is able to show care and concern for someone else.  For so many years I didn't see this from him at all. 

On the other hand, I don't want him to feel anxious about me.  I know he worries about my health in general.  He is a big help to me when I need it, but I try not to burden him with too much information, especially when it would just worry him.

If anybody bothered to read this far, thanks.

It has been a long week.  I have had so much work to do and I finally had to work all night last night to make my deadline.  That in itself wasn't too bad, but I had to spend too much time sitting or running errands all week.  Now I just feel very tired and very sore.

OK...enough whining.  I did accomplish a lot of work and it is good to know I can do it in short bursts when I need to.  I also got to watch some good late night movies this week while I was working or winding down.  (Guys and Dolls on Tuesday and Silence of the Lambs last night.)  Also, an old favorite show came on at 6 this morning.  I haven't seen Angel for a couple of years, so it was fun to watch a little bit of that.

I took a long nap this morning and I've been typing pretty much since I've woken up, so I'm ready for a nap now.  Sleep well, everybody!

This week I've been the artist in residence at a local high school.  My job was to teach beadweaving to a jewelry class.  It has been a fun week, but getting up early every morning and driving to a job has just about done me in.  (I haven't had to do that regularly for about 10 years).

I don't know how the rest of the world does it, I'm finding I have to sleep all afternoon when I get home because I am so exhausted. 

It has been fun working with the kids though, and I will enjoy the paycheck!

Looking back over this blog, I see lots of posts complaining about fatigue.  I haven't really said anything about why I am disabled, etc.  This is as good a time as any.

I had back problems and pain from my late adolescence.  When I was 17 the doctors thought I had Rheumatoid arthritis.  After 15 or 20 years that diagnosis changed to fibromyalgia.

Then, in 2001 I herniated a disk in my back.  A couple of years later I had problems with tingling in my arms and I had two surgeries for removal of a herniated disk in my neck and removal of some bone to reduce pressure on the nerve roots.  That helped for about a year and then my neck pain returned.  I had herniated another disk in my neck.  Too make a long story short, I have chronic pain from my back and my neck and nothing can be done to cure the problem.  I can only treat the pain.  I have nerve damage in my left hand because of this problem.  I have several more herniated or bulging disks now.  There have been times when I could barely walk because of these problems.  Fortunately,I have improved a little from that low point and I am able to walk with a cane.

Since the beginning of this year, I have been having a lot of fatigue.  If I work one day, I have to rest the next day or two.  Many things could be causing the fatigue.  I guess I've been complaining about it more because it is a new symptom.

This all makes it difficult, if not impossible to do my artwork in the way I was accustomed.  I am gradually trying to figure out a new way to work, but it is not easy with all this fatigue.

The last few days I have been dealing with just crushing fatigue.  At times I just can't keep my eyes open.  I often have this problem after I work at the gallery  This weekend I had early and long meetings on Saturday and Sunday that took a lot out of me.  After the Saturday meeting ended (about 4 pm by the time I got home), I just slept.  I awakened only occasionally until Sunday morning, when I had to go to another, less formal meeting.  After that meeting I was tired again and had to sleep most of Sunday afternoon and evening.  The problem lasted though Monday when I also had bad headaches and stomach pain.  (This last was probably from eating food that didn't agree with me.)  Here it is Tuesday afternoon and I'm still having headaches and fatigue.

My husband is rather perturbed at this.  I can't really blame him, but he doesn't seem to understand that I can't help it.  He stays up all the time and sleeps very little.  He suffers for it, but he doesn't understand that I can no longer push myself beyond where my body wants to go.  If I do, it will fight back and it will almost always win. 

Do I miss the days when I could just push through and get by with little rest?  Of course I do, but I don't dwell on it, because I can't have it back.  If there's anybody who fights the envelope it's me, so if I have given up, it is because I know I can't win. 

I know my husband is just expressing his frustration, but it hurts me that he thinks I'm lazy.  I don't choose to live this way.  It is just that I've banged my head against this door long enough to know that I'm just giving myself a headache.  That doesn't get me anywhere.  I may as well rest when I need to and concentrate on other battles that I can have some hope of winning.

One last thing.  Although I'm frustrated about my husband's attitude, I don't blame him.  It is hard to be continually supportive, especially when the responsibilities fall on you.  I sometimes feel the same way when the tables are turned.  I'm just expressing my frustration...something I think many of you share.

It was time for a change in my life, so I made one.  Now I just hope I can keep up!  Normally I live a pretty isolated life.  Most of my time is spent with my family.  I am involved in one or two organizations and I do some volunteer work, so I'm not entirely isolated, but sometimes it isn't enough.

 I was beginning to feel as if I wasn't accomplishing anything.  That was making me depressed.  My solution:  get involved with more responsibilities in the hope that those responsibilities and my goals will give me the drive to overcome my fatigue.  These additional responsibilities will also put me in more contact with people, which could be a good thing. 

The downside is that I will have to push myself and hope my body agrees to play along.  Here's hoping!  I can't deal with the alternative, which seemed to be getting more and more isolated as rest and sleep claim more of my time.

I have been very tired lately and my hubby has been commenting on it.  I'm sure he means well, but he really gets on my nerves when he does that.  I haven't been sleeping so much because I was lazy, after all.  I'm complaining about needing so much sleep!

I worked at the gallery Saturday and was wiped out Sunday.  Then I worked at the gallery again on Wednesday.  I slept very poorly the night before because I was in too much pain, but I didn't take a nap after work and I stayed up until my normal bedtime to try and reset my wacky internal clock. As a result I slept until 8 am, took my medicine and slept until 3.  Hubby wanted to go shopping so I got dressed and we did that.  By the time I got home I was not feeling very well.  I got into bed for my nap at 4:30 or so and slept until 11:30 pm!  I read a book until 4 and then went back to sleep. 

My husband is upset because he doesn't get to spend much time with me, but he seems to think I have a choice in this manner.  I can get up and sit nodding off, or I can try to get the sleep my body demands.  Considering the pain problems that lack of sleep causes me, I don't think I'm wrong to try and get sleep when my body demands it.